Friday, August 28, 2009

I don't like the house in the movie "UP"


Mom..can I pee on the clouds?

If you have seen the movie "UP" then you know what I mean. I'm not impressed with that house in the movie.

Here are my reasons:

1. It's crappy and it's old so it breaks easily-
When it hit rocks it was like chopping wood. Pieces would fall and fly off. It was crazy. I'd never ride that kind of a flying residence.

10,000 condoms were used in this film

2. It may look funny, but it's not really entertaining - Hohoho.. balloons make it fly. DUH! One match can ruin it all. Or one bb gun, or one slingshot. Verdict: WEAK.

"I counted the balloons! 10,000!"

3.It does not kick ass -
No weapons. No shield. No monsters in the attic. It doesn't even have a computer in it. No phone. No internet. No cable. No bathtub. It's CRAZY.

Better and/or alternative houses:

The Flying house -
It's faster. It has a time machine. It's fire proof and is also shock proof. People living in it banged with the hebrews, chilled with jesus, fished with the apostles and saw Adam and Eve naked. Now beat that old house.
Thunder does not scare Corky.

Monster house - No more pesky electrolux guy to bother you. No kids who sing xmas carols even if it's like a month away. No solicitation from village kids who don't have enough money to buy their own basketball uniforms. This house protects itself. No need for a guard dog. This house kicks (and eats) ass.

"The only house that needs tictacs."

Whorehouse - No explanation this house licks ass....I mean kicks ass.


"A room is a still a room, even when there's nothin' there but gloom
But a room is not a house and a house is not a home. When the two of us are far apart. And one of us has a broken heart
.... Okay I think I need to stay away from the videoke."

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