Friday, August 28, 2009

I don't like the house in the movie "UP"

I FEEL DOWN WHEN I SEE THIS HOUSE

Mom..can I pee on the clouds?


If you have seen the movie "UP" then you know what I mean. I'm not impressed with that house in the movie.

Here are my reasons:


1. It's crappy and it's old so it breaks easily-
When it hit rocks it was like chopping wood. Pieces would fall and fly off. It was crazy. I'd never ride that kind of a flying residence.


10,000 condoms were used in this film



2. It may look funny, but it's not really entertaining - Hohoho.. balloons make it fly. DUH! One match...one match can ruin it all. Or one bb gun, or one slingshot. Verdict: WEAK.

"I counted the balloons! 10,000!"


3.It does not kick ass -
No weapons. No shield. No monsters in the attic. It doesn't even have a computer in it. No phone. No internet. No cable. No bathtub. It's CRAZY.



Better and/or alternative houses:


The Flying house -
It's faster. It has a time machine. It's fire proof and is also shock proof. People living in it banged with the hebrews, chilled with jesus, fished with the apostles and saw Adam and Eve naked. Now beat that old house.
Thunder does not scare Corky.


Monster house - No more pesky electrolux guy to bother you. No kids who sing xmas carols even if it's like a month away. No solicitation from village kids who don't have enough money to buy their own basketball uniforms. This house protects itself. No need for a guard dog. This house kicks (and eats) ass.


"The only house that needs tictacs."


Whorehouse - No explanation needed..as this house licks ass....I mean kicks ass.

"Welcum!"

"A room is a still a room, even when there's nothin' there but gloom
But a room is not a house and a house is not a home. When the two of us are far apart. And one of us has a broken heart
.... Okay I think I need to stay away from the videoke."

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I HATE IT WHEN YOU STEP ON THAT YELLOW TILE

I hate it when you
step on the yellow tile in the MRT.


I'm bad(ing)ass! I break rules!

Not because I care for you, (it won't happen) but because its a green light for the guard to blow his horn...err..whistle, and for the stupid recording (yeah to warn stupid people like you NOT to step on the yellow tile!) to go on and on and on like that energizer bunny.

What will happen if I kick this guy?


"Maybe they're hardcore Marcos loyalists...as they have fun stepping on anything that's colored yellow---That one liner is so corny that I want to jump off the tracks...not!"

Sunday, August 16, 2009

I HATE THE WAY YOU WAY YOU WEAR YOUR CAP

Do you wear your cap like this?
If you wear your cap like that, then screw you..haha! kidding.. don't worry that much, you still have a chance to save your life. A 1 in a million chance, but that's better than nothing.

There are 3 things you can do:

1. Read a book
- Yes, stop malling, stop slacking, stop hustlin` and start reading. What book? One should start reading the book that will be useful, a book that will help you with your life. Do not read "Purpose driven life", it's a ripoff. One should be reading "How to wear a cap for dummies" or "How not to make a fool out of yourself".



2. Be a train engineer - Only train engineers are allowed to wear hats like that.
GO and apply in PNR now!

Mom, it's legal to wear this stupid hat!


3. Wear a dunce cap - It's cool and unique. At least you won't be an eye sore...and you can even use the pointed hat as a weapon. ONLY COOL PEOPLE WEAR THIS CAP! So go for it!

I'm the coolest!




pandoy says"As you can see..I wear my cap properly! And hell yes, I can rhyme too!"

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I HATE THOSE 2010 POLITICAL ADS!

2010 Presidentiable wannabes:
I HATE YOUR POLITICAL ADS!

Damn I hate that Mar Roxas political Ad!

Who do they think they are fooling?

Those are theater actors! Well, some of 'em.

If you want to make an ad "realistic", use REAL people!

Gayahin nyo si National Artist Carlo J. Caparas! HAHA!

Topless with my hardtop down..cruisin...

I wonder who your campaign manager is...just wondering, I do not want to be him or her.
Just like his commercial before,
"Mr Palengke"-- the fat lady there is a theater actress!
I feel insulted by the commercial.

It's like getting bukakked with stupid.

Typical Trapo commercial... Drama shit, Full of BS..


Hey, MAR.. I'M SICK OF IT. The style?
Use what I call "The Filipino Weakness" So what is it?

It's old people, and a small kid and drama in a palengke setting.

Parang Wowowee lang.

"Wag kayo matakot..Lalaban tayo..."
What a stupid tagline.

Better taglines for him include:
"Kung corrupt ka, ikukulong kita!" or this:

"PUTANG INA!"
shocked
If you feel his political ad strikes you and touches your heart....
then I pity you.


May Zeus' lightning strike you...in the ass.
I said ass...not head...mmmm...ass..

Damn Trapo...

Speaking of TRAPO...

How about Manny Villar's commercial?
It's too orangey for me.

Kala ko Sunkist commercial eh.
eto po ang Aga Muhlach ng Tondo..


I like his Voltes V commercial more.
The new one he has...well "akala ko maganda..ang panget pala!"

the style?

Target the youth, use a song from a band. And use the color orange.
And then add a little "that's my boy" pose.

Sorry, you won't get my vote...

Unless reroute a hi-way en to our home so we can get paid..just like you did. =) Damn..you missed my house by this much!


Why can't his commercials be like..err..Bayani Fernando's?


maginoo pero mejo bastos

BORING!
BUT STRAIGHT TO THE POINT!


HOHOHO!


Roll out!


WHERE THE HELL IS EDDIE GIL WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!
Winning tagline: "Babayaran ko ang utang ng Pilipinas"



"I don't know what to say...I'm too distracted..Damn that Lady Gaga..."

jobertoholics around the world