Friday, August 29, 2008


First of all, it does not make you look cool.

sorry, no nipple slips here.

Second, it's not fun.

simply stupid

Third, you look stupid.

after 10 minutes, they got married.

So you honestly think that capturing the moment of yourself while in mid-air is cool?
Sorry to break the news, it's not.
Funny thing is, people do this mostly on the beach, they think it's legal to look like retards while vacationing.

It's so sickening that I'd rather put live jellyfish all over my body.
Bottomline: It's not cool, it's not legal, it's not acceptable, it's not normal and it does not even match up to the "jumping pictures" that I consider cool.

Check them out, ignoramuses:

This is what everyone should witness

Mario is the jumping master, fool!

So next time you plan on doing this stupid stuff in public, think twice...or better yet, have a rope and get ready and do this:

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


I absolutely hate it when I see you put up a "V" sign. You do not have to put this up, I know how the letter "V" looks like. And like you, I also know how to count to two (The big difference is I can count to 30...without blinking my eye). Whenever I see people put up this sign, they make me want to cut off my fingers and feed it to Pinky, the resident askal.

It sickens mo to the the bone..whenever I see people take pictures showing off their "V" sign.
Wait...where did this all come from? This is not like some mushroom that sprung from a prostitute's ass... Do not fret, as the most educational blog has finally uncovered it's origin for people like you.*

A little bit of V sign history*:

During the 1972 Winter Olympics in Sapporo, figure skater Janet Lynn stumbled into Japanese pop culture when she fell during a free-skate period—but continued to smile even as she sat on the ice. (she did not break her neck) Though she placed only 3rd in the actual competition (loser), her cheerful diligence and indefatigability resonated with many
Japanese viewers, making her an overnight celebrity in Japan. (her boob popped out that's why!)

Read my lips: "I can do everything I want!"

Afterwards, Lynn was repeatedly seen flashing (NOT HER BOOBS) the V sign in the Japanese media. Though the V sign was known of in Japan prior to Lynn's use of it there (from the post-WWII Allied occupation of Japan), she is credited by some Japanese for having popularized its use in amateur photographs.

Through the 1970s and 1980s in Japan, the V sign was often accompanied by a vocalization: "piisu!" This gairaigo exclamation, which stood for "peace"*, has since fallen into disuse, though the V sign itself remains steadfastly popular.

I have two gaps in my mouth-classic V sign make sure it hits your cheek

Perhaps due to Japanese cultural influence,(which also includes: suicide, shinto, sushi, hentai and Sho Kosugi) the V sign in photographs has become popular with young Koreans, Hong Kongers, Taiwanese and Aliens as well.

The classic V alongside the eyes

V-sign in photographs has its origins from the Allied Occupation of Japan.(Not by Godzilla, but by Americans)

This V-sign of course meant "for victory," and the American and Allied occupation forces used this sign frequently, hence, the Japanese adopted this gesture into their culture - probably thinking this was a common gesture.

I have 2 broken teeth and 2 days to live.

This is also my understanding of how the gesture was introduced into Japanese culture.

Nowadays it's just considered "something you do when your photo is taken."

---A classic case of SGC or Social Groupie Syndrome.

probably the most popular V sign in the world

Now for Filipinos, it's either you're a Marcos Loyalist or just a plain copy cat.

Raise up those V signs or I will make you ride a bike around the elliptical road 200 times!

Anyway, I have a sign for all you people who have this habit of putting up a V sign every time you get photographed.

Here it is:


* V-sign obsessed moron
* from wikipedia and other sources
* it really means "I'm gay and I hump a tree!"

Sunday, August 10, 2008


I am sick and tired of seeing and hearing people using and abusing the word "ÜBER". It makes me want to put honey all over my nude body and go the zoo and punch a big grizzly bear in the face.

These people don't even know what it means, do you know what it means? Of course you don't! You conniving-ignorant-social groupie!

Let me educate ye about this overly used and abused word. (the internet will educate you through me, I'll be an instrument of education. (call me Mr. Sesame Street later...)

The word "ÜBER" comes from Germany, yes the country that was made famous by Mr. Adolf Hitler, Michael Schumacher, German Franks, Beer and the Red Baron.

What does it mean:
It means "above" in German. Delivered in the groupie world during the early 80's by an American punk band, called The Dead Kennedys when using the term in the anti-Californian government song "California Uber Alles", which is a take off the German motto of "Deustchland Uber Alles", which translates to "Germany above all."

Originally meant to be "above" or "over" now, it has been mutated to mean "really" , "very" or "super".

So when you see people use this word, like when TV hosts blurt it out on TV:Pinoy Big Brother Celebrity Edition 2, ÜBER!” you can now shout in front of the TV and say "Bitch! You don't even know what it means!" Plus you can add "Fuck, because of this, I have to read this very educational blog just to know what you mean by the word uber!"

*Reseach: 98% of Filipinos think that the word Über is actually bisaya for "over". Makes you want to think about when people blurt out "Magtagalog ka, wag ka mag German.." Hmm, is Adolph Hitler really the son of Jose Rizal? Why do they have the similar haircut?

The Answer:

NO, stupid. Hitler is an Austrian, later became a German after drinking beer. Plus you can see in the picture that Jose Rizal does not have any moustache! Hello?

Going back... (mejo nahilo ako dun ha), Using the word "Über" will not make you "cool" or "in". It will NOT make you look like Mariel Rodriguez.

So stop using the Überly used Über because I will have to Überly break your neck and I will have to Überly stomp on your Überly ugly face.

Because I
Überly hate it!!! Okay?

I hope you Überly understood.

Sunday, August 3, 2008


Yes, I hate James Yap.

You love him because he is gwapo and he is a talented basketball player;

I hate him because he is the epitome of "hype" and the "media's conditioning".


You love him because he had "Hope"
I hate him because he got caught with "Hope"! haha!
(thank you PEP for the image, I do not hate you....yet.)

I hate James Yap because he is called the Big Bird
I hate James Yap because there is only one Big Bird!

This post is brought to you by the Letter "H". Which coincidentally starts with the word "Hope, Hoe and Harlot"

You love him because he is your MVP. I hate him because he won the award with some "little help" from his wife. You love him because he is Kris Aquino's husband. I hate him because he is Kris Aquino's husband. You love him because he is a better basketball player than anyone in the league. (debatable! I think Mark Andaya is the best PBA player right now)
I hate him because he runs faster than me!
You love him because he kicks good.
I hate him because he runs good!
See James Run

You love James Yap because you think he is the ICON of the PBA. I hate James Yap because there will be a new logo for the PBA.

This new logo kicks ass!

I hate James Yap that I'd rather watch Tasya Fantasya, Payaso and Last 2 minutes for a whole month inside a dark room with Madame Auring serving me the nude.

jobertoholics around the world