Monday, January 26, 2009

I hate your Videoke songs!

My list of hateful Videoke songs...

1. Creed- My Sacrifice (the real sacrifice will be listening to this)

2. Edwin Mccain - I'll be (I'll be going home early when I hear this)

3. Rob Thomas - unwell (Everybody will be unwell after you have sung it)

4. Freestyle - Bakit ngayon ka lang (Bakit ngayon ka lang natuto kumanta?!)

5. Incubus - Wish you were here (Wish you were not!)
6. Incubus - Drive (You drive me crazy!)

7. David Cook - Always be my baby (Mariah's version is the best!)

8. Gloria Gaynor - I will survive (No, you won't) -The song abused by the homosexual population
9. Marco Sison - My love will see you through (No it won't)

10. Evanessence - My immortal (You're not..try singing "My way")

kakanta ka or susuntukin kita?

11. Goo Goo Dolls - Iris (You will never be an angel, stop fantasizing)
12. Whitney Houston - I have nothing (You have no voice too)

13. Abba- Dancing Queen (This song is the most abused ever!)

14. The Foundations - Build Me Up Buttercup (People sing this, they do not even know who did it)

15. Chaka Khan - Through The Fire
(Good song, but abused!)
16. Aerosmith - i dont want to miss a thing (I wanna miss this one)

17. The calling - Where ever you will go (Stop it..guys..stop singing this song!)

18. Creed - With Arms Wide Open (I...can'!)

19. Bonnie Tyler/Nikki French - Total Eclipse of the Heart (Sorry! hahahaha!)

20. Celine Dion - "My Heart Will Go On" (No, it won't and Titanic the movie sucks!)

* "My way" was not included because I want too see if it's really true that you'd get shot when you sing "My way."

* "Anything For Love" by Meatloaf was not included..because it has a great video.

"My favorite song is "Life dance", the problem is I do not see it in the song list of every Vidoeke bar in the country. I even travelled around the globe in search of this, and I have not seen nor heard anyone singing it in KTV spots. This is really depressing... I want to sing "My way" now..."

Sunday, January 25, 2009


I do not understand....cannot comprehend....cannot fathom... (ang lalim) the fact that people (Narutards) adore and love Narutwerp.


"Naruto Uzumaki, an adolescent ninja who constantly searches for recognition and aspires to become a Hokage, the ninja in his village that is acknowledged as the leader and the strongest of all."

Okay..was that even english? geez..

It's easy to hate a blonde ninja wannabe..really it's easy..but for some (Narutards), they find it easier to worship him.

May this world end in 2012!

Anyway, let me enumerate my reasons...

1. Naruto is a Ninja - Simply outrageous! Outrageously stupid! Come on! A Ninja..who hides in the trees..and gets surprised as he gets spotted by the enemy. NARUTO, You are wearing an ORANGE JUMPSUIT! Even Mr Moleman or Mr Magoo can see you a mile away!

These Ninjas are like cowabunga!

2. Naruto wears a belt - No problem if you wear it the correct way. He wears it on his head. Parents, if you see your kids wearing their belts over their know who to blame.

Simply gay eh?

3. Naruto does not take a bath - He doesnt. He has this strange dirt marks on his cheeks. So you wanna have that dirty-rugged-carpentero look ha! Sorry, it won`t work.

Snake eyes had enough of this kiddo

4. Naruto talks a lot - REAL Ninjas don't even talk. They Kill! And they kill fast. Narutwerp likes to talk..he dictates what he thinks..and what he is about to do. Here's an excerpt from one of Naruto`s generic and repetitive fight scenes:

Character 1
"Ill use my (insert skill name) on you! To end this once and for all!" *thinking to himself/herself* "If I do this it will drain all my chakra"

Character 2

*thinking to himself/herself* "What an Idiot! If he uses (insert skill name) he/she will drain all of his/her chakra!"

Bad guy

"You cant kill me with that (insert skill name)" "You will drain all your chakra"

Zzz....sorry I dozed off...I think you get the picture...

5. Talking dog - Stupid and not original. Goofy is the best talking dog. And nobody can be better than him!

6. Naruto has no originality - Orange suit? Sorry, you were not the first.

7. Naruto is a virus- Yes, he is responsible of spreading and cowardly replicating not only of himself, but he is responsible for spreading NARUTARDATION.

This is sickening...

8. Naruto promotes Sodomy -Proof? Screen capture below...

I said kick his ass! Not violate his ass!

9. Naruto is such a weak "Ninja" wannabe that this fella below can whoop his behind. He can turn Narutwerp's blonde hair to black!

10. Naruto is trying to be the biggest and lamest Ninja of all time, and I hate him for it. The lamest Ninjas you'd ever see are the Ninja Kids. No question bout that, get your katanas and cut your head off if you think that I am wrong.

I got the amulet..I got the power!


"One morning I was so happy that I thought Naruto was in front of our house! I rushed out to hug him! However, I completely stopped! It was not my Idol! But it was the garbage collector! Complete with the Orange Jumpsuit, and agua oxenadad hair!"

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I HATE Edward Cullen

Almost everyone in this planet loves and adores Edward Cullen. That is why the world will end in 2012...

You know what?

He's got nothing with our very own PANDOY.

Here's one email I've seen being passed around and initially I find it gay and offensive. So I tweaked it and added "what-would-pandoy-do."

Edward Cullen and a Normal Guy....and PANDOY

A normal guy would say: “I love you Baby!”
Edward Cullen would say: “You are my life now.”
PANDOY says: "I love you" - no shit, no decorations just the real deal.

Normal Guy would say: “I think I am falling for you.”

Edward Cullen would say: “The Lion fell in Love with the Lamb”

PANDOY says: "Lions will eat lambs, how 'bout lamb chops for dinner?"

Normal Guy would say: “You hair looks like a haystack; go brush it!”
Edward Cullen would say: “Your hair looks like a haystack… but I like it.”
PANDOY says: "Your hair looks like a haystack...where is the needle?"

A normal guy would pick a random song from a random artist and dedicate it to you.
Edward Cullen would sing you a song he wrote for you while playing the piano. PANDOY will accuse and file a case against Edward Cullen for plagiarism.

If you die, a normal guy would find another.
If you die, Edward Cullen would kill himself because life without you isn’t worth living.
If you die, PANDOY will resurrect you, because he can.

As you leave the house, a normal guy would say: “Bye, see ya!”

As you leave the house Edward Cullen would say: “Come back to me, love.”
As you leave the house, PANDOY would say: "Pasalubong!"

As you come back home, a normal guy would be watching TV and wouldn’t even notice.
As you come back home, Edward Cullen would be welcoming you by playing the piano with a song just for you.
As you come back home, PANDOY would be welcoming you with a threesome partner.

A normal guy would wait for you to make him breakfast.

Edward Cullen would make you breakfast everyday.
PANDOY will not make you breakfast, he will make you lunch because you will be too tired due to passionate lovemaking the night before and you will wake up at lunch time

While you are both out for dinner, a normal guy wouldn’t keep his eyes off the sexy waitress.

Edward Cullen wouldn’t even notice the waitress was a female.

PANDOY will be laughing and shouting "Edward Cullen is gay!"

A normal guy, while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and one hand on the radio.

Edward Cullen, while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and the other attached to yours.

PANDOY, will not drive because he is to fly to drive, he will be beside you at the backseat of his limousine. Stylin' and profilin' baby!

While far apart in different places, a normal guy would say: “I miss you.”

While far apart in different places, Edward Cullen would say: “It’s like you’ve taken half myself with you”

While far apart in different places, PANDOY would say: "webcam tayo mamaya 9pm ha?"

A normal guy wouldn’t care or notice if you had nightmares.
Edward Cullen would sing until your nightmares went away.

PANDOY would take action and call mang kepweng to take them away.

A normal guy does it with everyone.

Edward Cullen only does it with one.

PANDOY does it with he one who is with Edward Cullen when he is away.

A normal guy buys you flowers and chocolates.
Edward Cullen buys you a car.

PANDOY gives you 10 billion dollars.

Beat that you pale mutherf*%@&!


Friday, January 2, 2009

What I hate 2008


1. Twilight -Overhyped and Overrated..result? Disappointment.

2. James Yap - Stop running MR. Overrated. And just like his wife, he has this
attitude problem.

Where is Kris when I need her??

3. Shutter Shades - You are not Kanye West.

4. Those crazy scarves! aka shemagh- Yasser Arafat will bomb your house..that is if he was still alive.

You wear a scarf..I bomb your house.

5. "Always be my baby" by David Cook- Stop it already, please.

6. The Boston Celtics and their Bandwagon fans - A real fan huh? So who was the team's starting 5 before KG jumped ship?
A blow by blow coverage of KG

7. Sarah Palin- she's hot, but I hate her. But she's hot...

8. EMO kids- With the bangs covering one eye, and with "depression" smell in the air. I never would have thought being depressed was "cool".

Not in the face, but in the gonads!

9. Gossip Girl - Trying hard to be like Laguna Beach..never heard? go figure.

10. Shisha- Not cool. You look like that caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland. Woopee!

"One puff, Alice. One won't hurt" --Peer pressure

11. Lebron James - Media's favorite, every bandwagon fan's favorite "King".
The "king" let down the robe.

12. Gabriel Valenciano- Who the hell is he? Gary V.'s son. You know what? I hate your dad too.
Quezon City Circle pose.

13. Rayver Cruz- The name alone is the green light for haterdom.
Why Shaina? Why?

14. The hosts of Wowowee- Please..stop...shouting!
15. Boracay/Embassy/Ascend gimik showoff pics - And how did you get it? guest
16. Lomography/Fish eye- Overrated, not cool. It will not make you artsy, you fartsy.

17. Britney Spears - Stop playing her songs in the radio! Please! Or imma hit you one more time!

18. Santa Claus- The God of greed and materialism! He's not even real!

19 "Jump shots" - Be it in the beach, office or in the club, this will never be cool!

20. Freddie Roach- Why? Because he said this:
“In a perfect world, I would like to see him fight Ricky Hatton and then Floyd Mayweather Jr. and then I would like to see Manny retire, and become President of the Philippines.”--Okay, Freddie...
"Show me the Manny! Show me the Manny!"

"When it rained last December 31, it did not stop me from lighting firerworks! I was still able to make paputok. Pinutok ko sa loob! I was able to set a sawa inside the house and I was able to drive out not only the evil spirits, but also the residents of our house! Beat that!"

jobertoholics around the world