Tuesday, August 14, 2012

5 words Jobert Balbastro will NEVER use.

1. Weh - Sounds stupid. Really. 
2. Wagas - I don't know what it means and I don't want to know. 
3. teh - A gay lingo additive I will NEVER use. 
4. chorva - It can mean anything. Totally unacceptable. 
5. imba - An online game (Ragnarok-sucky game) influenced expression that means "imbalance" 

 If you happen to use at least ONE of the five mentioned words above. May Vishnu have mercy on your jolog soul.

Monday, July 16, 2012

It's July 2012 and these are the things that I freaking hate right now:

1. Call me Maybe videos - Do I have to explain? Hey, I just saw you. That video is crazy, here's a duct tape, SO SHUT UP maybe?

2. "HBD" - Idiotically put as "Happy Birthday" People are so fucking lazy right now and they just put acronyms. Birthdays should be sacred and special and putting "HBD" will not cut it. It's like saying "Happy birthday and napilitan lang ako" -Another HBD meaning could be: Herpes Brings Death.

3. STOP putting #hashtags in your facebook status messages! - Damn. I don't get this. Tweets are different from facebook status messages. You look lame trying to be cool. #justhating.

4. Charice Pempengco - The hate level would be Charice>Bieber. Really!

5. PeTA - They tell you to stop killing animals.But what do they do if they can't handle the stray dogs/animals they have? They euthanize them. Assholes.

6. Please die if you talk 9gag. - If you use these words in your everyday life: "Me gusta, you don't say, seems legit, Impossibru!, One does not simply..(put your cool statement here), come at me bro, forever alone, etc." PLEASE DIE. 

7. 50 shades of Grey - You don't have to brag about reading it. We know you can read, but bragging your taste in reading is devastating. Why not read a Stephen Hawking book? or A Michiu Kaku book? What you read is bullshit and you brag about it. Everybody is going gaga, everybody is going crazy. It's fucking stupid. Remember: ANYTHING connected or related with Twilight automatically sucks. 

If you love 50 shades of Grey, I hope your stalker gets you.

Friday, January 6, 2012

I hate the words you use!

Okay, after posting "I hate you much" Jobert decides to add more words he hates and words that you can use instead. Cool eh?

1. Instead of saying "Ikaw na!" use: "Ang yabang mo!" --This is pretty much applicable in facebook or twitter. You know that instance when your "friend" brags about something and people just start saying "ikaw na!" To translate it, they're just saying na "ang yabang mo!" And to dissect it: ikaw na ang ano? Fuck. Kung sa pagsasalita may pambibitin, nagka blue balls na kami sa pagbasa nyan. "IKAW NA!"

2. Instead of trying to be cool in using "occupy" like: Occupy Wallstreet, Occupy Manila, Occupy my ass, it would be best to just shut up. Just use "terrorize" or "loiter"

3. Instead of using "baby bump" to describe someone who is obviously pregnant, just say they're pregnant...or just fat. No more sugarcoating.

4. Instead of using "crap", just say "shit" it sounds better, and if it had a smell, it would smell better too. Masyadong pacute ang crap.

5. Instead of blurting out "Seriously?!" (with tone), just shut the fuck up and listen. This is similar to the "weh" of the jolog orcs. In-english lang.

Okay, this is giving me a big headache. I need to fucking stop this right now. 

Sunday, January 1, 2012



They say 2012 is the year of the "end". Sorry, last time I checked, the Mayans just failed to finish their calendar no thanks to the Spaniards who literally made them dinosaurs.

jobertoholics around the world