Sunday, November 30, 2008


Spectacular...simply spectacular..


It's sad.
I can't stand it, really.
Makes me wanna puke...inside your shoes!

It will never make you cool nor it won't give you tons of pogi points.
It will make you look that something is indeed wrong with you.
Not below, but up in your head.

C'mon..are there any horses around?
Do we have snow here and you're out snowboarding?

Are you an elf? or some ring bearer or some lil' Constantine on some SantaCruzan?
Stop this already!

Ohhh..I get you want me, to see what kind of shoes you wear? Is that right?


This is the way to show off your shoes!
the new smelly blings
So boys and girls, next time you see someone tucking in their pants inside their shoes, make them feel sorry for it. Grab a pitcher of cold water, pour it inside their pants. Then wait if water goes out from the bottom. If the water does not spill out, then worship the loser. If it does, shout out loud "So what's the use of tucking it in?!" (Then run or get a lawyer).

"I tuck in my pants inside my shoes when I clean the toilet or when it rains. I also do this when I clean the hacienda or the clean the stables where horses go eat, sleep and have sex. I think it's cool..I think it's cool to watch horses have sex, not tucking in your pants inside your shoes".

Friday, November 21, 2008

Meet Mr. Pandoy

Meet Mr. Pandoy....
He will be a new addition to the blog as he shares his insights (rational or not) towards what I put in here. A little background on Mr. Pandoy... He is the typical kapitbahay. He is Mr. Know it all. The Ayatollah of Information, The Icon of chismis and the Legend of Urban legends. Meet the enigmatic Mr. Pandoy....

Saturday, November 15, 2008


Even Emos get to wear em!

No, it's not your dead skin building up (Libag). It's your "color oriented" Neck Accessory.

Do you know what it's called?

It's a Keffiyeh also known as Shemagh.

It's not just the latest thing in fashion, it's also the latest eye sore.
Next to Pink
shirts, Popped collars, and our favorite Shutter Shades.

So what is it?
Why are you wearing it?

Oh, you didn't know?
It figures, I can see you wearing that Che Guevara shirt. Do you even
know who the guy is?

Correct! He is the brother or Tootsie! What a genius!

Let's go back to the uncool fashion storm that has hit the country like Katrina hit the US.

It's a SHEMAGH, Keffiyeh or your "stupid fashion statement" (So tell me, is this statement "I AM A MORON WHO WANT TO BE COOL"? )

People, read and learn...

It was Traditionally worn by Palestinian peasants, the keffiyeh became a symbol of

Palestinian nationalism during the Arab Revolt of the 1930...Increased sympathy and activism by certain Westerners toward Palestinians in the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict in the years of the Oslo Peace Accords and Second Intifada haveled to the wearing of keffiyehs as a sign of their solidarity with Palestine and the Palestinian people....

But now, some individuals wear them to be hip. Even if our country is so hot like pandesal left inside the compartment of your car. Or to be cool and to be like their idolized stars.

go watch your own sex tape!

Before, it was your Fauxhawk, now this? I should murder you already.

Can I whip your hip? and put some reality in your illusional coolness?

Can I simply strangle you with it?

Reality is this, it's not cool.
Hey, Mr. call center guy, it's not cool.
Hey, Mr. Gay guy, it's not cool
Hey, Mr. Self proclaimed fashionista, it's not cool.
Hey, Mr. Me-too, it's not cool.
Hey, Mr. Copycat, it's not cool.
Hey, Mr. Wannabe-trendsetter, it's not cool.



Cool as ice baby!

As for the Keffiyeh or Shemagh, Only one guy is cool in wearing this.
If you wear that in your concert, we will riot.

No, it's not Chris Brown.



Too bad he's dead.

So what do I want you to wear? (nothing really)
I recommend a better neck accessory.
It will surely make you look like your're above everyone else.

Maybe it's time you hang out.

Saturday, November 8, 2008


No reasons needed. You love it?


I hate it when people go to Baguio and take pictures with the infamous St. Bernard of Baguio. The so called coolest dog in the world...The name of the dog is Doglas, a very unique and creative name I should say.......oooohkay...

Stylin and profilin'..the coolest dog of the Philippines

He can be seen either in Mines View Park, Burnham Park or in the Botanical Garden.

Let me get this straight, I do not loathe the dog (yet), as he does nothing but profile and earn 10 bucks per shot. Cool job huh?

my future is so bright, I have to wear shades...

At least he has a job, not unlike your 30 year old boyfriend.

Doglas: Rub me in the right place baby and I'd hit it from behind...

The thing I have is with the people who think it's cool having a picture with an adorable,big dog.
People, it's not.

It's like showing people how stupid you are. It's like its your first time to see a dog that big and a dog with that breed.


Have you been livin' inside a cave? (with Yogi)

Doglas: get off me! I think I saw a cat!

Come on, go grab a Beethoven DVD. Go to Cartimar, or to Tiendesitas.

You do not have to go to Baguio just to take this picture, and it does not make you cool to make it a reason on why you went to the City of Pines.

I'd rather have a picture with a vulture or with a Hyena, or if it's in Baguio, an Ifugao native wearing Nike Air force ones and dancing the snap dance... now that is cool.

Or these pictures:

kanya-kanyang style lang yan.

magandang umaga bayan!

Oh, Just give the dog a bone.

Note from the Author: No dogs, kids, women were hurt during the making of this entry and during the taking of the photographs. Only egos were hurt.

Sunday, November 2, 2008


Since humankind came into existence, numerous inventions came about. From the wheel to the vibrator... From the telephone to the pager to the usage of messenger pigeons. Human inventions are not limited to things you can touch (vibrator) or see (porn material), one example is Language...personal language in particular.

Language is one "invention" we cannot live without.
But there is one word I can live without:


Anyone knows what the hell it means?

Anywhoo is defined by Urban Dictionary as:

A more funky,radical and random way of saying anyways...

For example:
Anywhoo....watzup with you?

My definition of Anyhoo: STUPID

It's really used to impress the one you are conversing with, or someone who reads your loser of a blog that no one really reads. It's like the SHUTTER SHADES of language.

It's also used to make themselves look cool, appear cool.

It's Simply Stupid. Let me explain:

A-N-Y-W-H-O-O = 7 letters
A-N-Y-W-A-Y = 6 letters
A-N-Y-H-O-W = 6 letters

I hope you get my point, if not.. go watch Wowowee and never open this blog again.

So where is "Anyways" in the comparative study I have made?

Do not say or write "anyways".

The word is "
According to Tina Blue (An English specialist):

The form "anyways" is found in some dialects in the United States, but it is not standard English, and it should never be used in any situation where you want to be considered reasonably well educated.

Okay, so put out the violins and celebrate as you are considered to be "cultured" and "educated" by not using "Anyways" or "Anywhoo". Now we can watch Dallas, Dynasty and Falcon Crest. Hooray!

jobertoholics around the world