Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I HATE THE JONAS BROTHERS


My dog scribbled this on my computer.



Why hate on the Jonas Brothers?
1. They are not better than the Hanson brothers. Never. MMbop will never be outdone by any of their songs.

2. Because I`m not a pre-teen or a teen. I`m an adult...a cool adult.

3. They sing like girls..it would be okay to sing like girls, however, they are boys.

4. Just like Lebron James and Dwayne Wade, they are mere corporate puppets. Like it or not, they are what we call, teen commodities. Teen Money makers who do not have brains of their own.

5. They are fake. Faker than Milli Vanilli.

cocks


6. They are like the "Twilight" of music. All hype. Overrated. All bark and no bite. All pita bread, no shawarma beef.

7. A disgrace to Rock whenever they claim to be doing rock.

8. A disgrace to Pop. Imagine that.

9. Money before music = disaster.

10. Once separated, they are trash.


11. All image, talent..lacking.

12. Give them a few years, and the drugs/sex scandals/alcohol/crime will get the best of them. Guaranteed.

13. They sing like Miley Cyrus. Have you heard Miley Cyrus live? She demolished the song "Just stand up" together with real talented singers like Mary J Blige, Beyonce, etc. Expect the worst from these brothers.

14. They have this clean image..too clean if you ask me. It`s guaranteed FAKE. No thanks to Disney.

15. THEY ARE NOT HOT. And give it 10-15 years..at least one of them will go out the closet.


Just like Russell Brand would say: "Well done the Jonas Brothers. Each wear a ring to say they are not going to have sex; I'd take them more seriously if they wore it around their genitals."

why do they have their mouths wide open? damn!


HYPOCRITES


And what do we do to Hypocrites? We let them get beat up by one of our own... Introducing: HARVEY

Hello, my name is Harvey and I`m here to introduce my left and right to the Jobarns Brothers. I hate them because they are so cute. But, there can only be one. And that is me. Harvey the Hard one. This could be the first and last time you will see me here as I will be busy beating up the Jobarns brothers and be busy cleaning up septic tanks. Thank you for having me here.

XOXO,
Harvey. =)

"I therefore conclude..Listening to the Jonas brothers or Taylor Swift and even Miley Cyrus is deadlier compared to the Swine Flu or being trapped inside a closed room with a goat. If you have one of their songs in your I-pod or walkman, please do remove it right away."





Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I HATE THE THINGS YOU SAY


Garbage..simply garbage...yes, like that April boy Regino tape you bought, just like the tickets from an LA Lopez concert you kept. I hate garbage. Lalo na yung garbage that comes out from one's mouth... Sabi sa Bible...

Matthew 15:16-18

"16"Are you still so dull?" Jesus asked them. 17"Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.'" --- I just had to connect..forgive me for that..haha..

Here are some words you hear, mmmm.. probably use just to make you sound or look cool:


"(i)STEADY LANG"

Ex. Man in Barong: "Musta summer mo pre?"
Man in rags: "Steady lang pre..steady lang.."

This phrase is usually heard when you ask "Kumusta?" or "Whassup?" A simple "Okay lang" would do, but no..they HAD to come up with this. Steady what? why? where? Stupid.


"GOOD VIBES MAN..GOOD VIBES.."

Ex. (Stoned "dude" liking what he is seeing): "Good vibes pare...Good vibes!"


Either you hear this when someone is really stoned or drunk or when someone just wants to stand out from the crowd and sound "cool".
* Just like my friend Marky would say "Good Vibes" my ass...if i punch you in the face would you call that "good vibes"?...hehe

"I KNOW, RIGHT!"


Ex. Stupid Student 1: "Man, the exam was really hard man.."
REALLY Stupid Student 2: "I know, right! It`s harder than cement."

You know what? Shut the hell up. Usually heard in Starbucks where girls talk about stupid nothings or in any classroom wherein you are in the vicinity of a Fil-AM (Feeling American) or Amboy (Amoy Baboy).

"O-M-G!"


Ex. "O-M-G! It's the Jonas Brothers!"


Usually heard all over the place. Short for "Oh My God!" Typing it is acceptable, yeah I can tolerate that..but blurting it out with such fervor is not. Aartehan mo pa ba ang salita mo kapag mahuhulog na sa bangin ang kotse mo? What`s next? P-T-J? "Patay Tayo Jan"?



Next on this blog...The Jonas Brothers.


"O-M-G! I'm so excited! WTF? That's not Goldberg! PTJ!"




Saturday, April 11, 2009

Preview of things to come....

"Jobert (the owner of this magnificent and educational blog site is my best friend... Even if I do not agree with some of his beliefs and ideas, he is still a friend indeed. Actually, he is more like my brother. Not the Cain and Abel type of relationship, but it`s more like the Vic Sotto and Tito Sotto kind of relationship a third member of our brotherhood will be introduced soon. But I must warn you, he is dangerous and violent.... Speaking of brothers... Jobert has mentioned to me that there is this group of "brothers" who think they are cool and is currently making Curly, Larry and Moe look bad..imagine that! Even Mario and Luigi are threatened... Alvin, Simon and Theodore are already digging holes. THIS MUST STOP! With the help from my "brother" Jobert, we will be telling you who they are..and why we hate them!" (Enter suspense music here)

jobertoholics around the world