Sunday, November 14, 2010

I hate marathons

This entry is long overdue..No thanks to my day job. Yes, I do have a day job and it keeps me busy. It's more like a distraction in my blogging life.

ANYWAY, let me just say this: 

Running is the new Badminton.

You know how I feel about Badminton right?

Generally, running/marathon aren't really that bad. I mean, it's just running. But add along details like: "It's cool, it's the in thing now" makes me want to run without any clothes on.

I'd rather ride a bike than run.

You know why people are so into running? 

It's not because that its healthy, nor because its endorsed by a showbiz personality, like Derek Ramsey (no relation to the Pharaoh). People are going gaga over just because they just want to brag and show off. It's true, you heard it here first.

These people run because:

1. Just to be cool: Take their pictures taking while running, then post it in their social network sites like facebook, multiply, myspace and if you're still a loser, friendster.

2.They can't dance the running man.

3. No skills in basketball, volleyball or any team sport. Just run, no skills needed.

4.Getting ready for the zombie apocalypse. Hey, this can be useful when that happens.


6. Just to check out chicks, or men wearing short shorts.

7. To meet celebrities like Pacquiao, Derek Ramsey and Nonoy Zuniga..well Nonoy was not running, he was just watching.


8. They can't swim and go to Boracay and brag it in their facebook accounts, so they just run and brag about it.

9. Just to show off their new kicks..specifically, running shoes.

10.A lousy excuse to eat yogurt AND LOOK COOL even though it tastes like cat piss.


So there you go, 10 reason why this running fad is so popular nowadays. 

AND ALSO THIS:

YOU FREAKING PAY JUST TO RUN. 
ISNT THAT STUPID? 

CHARITY? 
CHARITY PEMPENGCO MY A$$.

RUNNING WILL NOT SAVE THE PLANET

RUNNING WILL NOT GIVE US WORLD PEACE

RUNNING WILL NOT CLEAN THE PASIG RIVER


Till the next Blog entry..Being a busy person, I gotta run.
(YES, PUN INTENDED)


Pacman knows

Saturday, July 10, 2010

WTF moment #1

WTF MOMENT #1




PRETTY MUCH SELF EXPLANATORY

Monday, May 3, 2010

I HATE YOUR FAKE NERD EYEGLASSES

Damn..I hate your fake eyeglasses.

  

I can understand fake birth certificates, fake diplomas, fake boobies....


but fake nerdy eyeglasses?

I just don't get it.

Why fake the eyeglasses?

so you can look cool? 
or look intellectual?
or just because someone popular in school is wearing it and you want to be like him/her?

You know what, you look stupid.

If you wear fake eyeglasses for fashion, or just to be cool. 
Then officially, this makes you a genuine faker.



Stop wearing them or I may have to go smack your face while you're wearing one so that it be embedded on your face permanently. 

Then you have to thank me after.


"Kurt Rambis is the only guy allowed to wear nerdy glasses. He wears it because he needs it to score 200 points a game. He led the Lakers and have won 8 rings."

Friday, April 9, 2010

I HATE FRIENDSTER

Not really though, I just want to let you know, that I finally have a facebook account. 


AND BE A JOBERTOMANIAC!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Hating on: Pink shirt + your GF's handbag

And when you thought you have seen the worst... you get to see this abomination:


Fellas, c'mon..stop this foolishness.

It's not nice, proper, cool to carry your girlfriend's handbag.  Remember my post before?

It looks like this guy hasn't read my blog. 

His loss since this is the most educational blog in the net today.

PINK SHIRT+CARRYING YOUR GF's BAG = DISASTER


Good thing he didn't pop his collar, I would've stuck something sharp like a pen or a knife on both of my eyes just so not to see this prime example of failure of failures.

"I honestly thought penitensya was over.. I guess not. Now I have to stare at this picture for 6 hours and cry like a baby."

Monday, February 22, 2010

I HATE YOUR "LIST"


Simply stupid and selfish. I assume that this was made by girls who wanted their men to be their slaves. 
SORRY, It won't work for me! 

And guys, beware! Don't fall to this trap that you need to be the man they say you should be. 

BE YOURSELF!


Let's break down the list...

You're a lucky girl when you man:

1. FOLLOWS YOU WHEN YOU WALK OUT - What the? When you walk out, don't expect real men to follow you! Do a Talk n Text walk out and you'd get what you deserve. No, you don't get a fine of 1 million bucks, you just get to realize what a bad move it was since no sane guy will follow you.


2. CALLS YOU BACK WHEN YOU HANG UP - The question here is WHY? Why will men call you up when you hung up on them? So you can do it again? We ain't stupid.

3. HUGS YOU TIGHT WHEN YOU PUNCH HIM - Ain't this stupid? The only thing that will hug you when you punch me is a lawsuit! Or I'd let my sister who is a black belter in Shin to pain kungfu punch you in the face.


4. KISSES YOU WHEN YOU NAG - Nope.. Men, do not kiss your girlfriends when they nag. They may like it and nag even more!

5. WATCHES CHICK FLICKS WITH YOU , TOLERATES YOUR CRYING OVER LOVE STORIES- Okay..watch Basketball, Wrestling, Action films with Chuck Norris with us first, THEN we will watch you stupid chick flicks...Wait, since they are called chick flicks, they're only for chicks!


6. HANDS YOU THE REMOTE - For what?? The remote is no vibrator!


7. PASSES ON BOOZE NIGHT JUST TO LISTEN TO YOUR RANTING - Ladies, do not be fooled, we would only pass booze night only..and only if we do not have money.


8. KNOWS HOW TO SAY "I`M SORRY" AND ALWAYS TELLS YOU "I LOVE YOU". - I know how to do that... "I'M SORRY for reading this crap of a list..and I think I'd go back to my trusted BOOZE and say "I LOVE YOU to her". --Happy now????

"NOW WE CAN SAY, MEN ARE SELDOM MADE...SORT OF LIMITED EDITION" -  Yes..Men who would follow this pile of shit are seldom made alright! I tell you, this list is a disaster. It's sexist and it offends men! hehehe...


 "Feminism is the product of female selfishness, compounded by male chivalry."

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I hate it when you overuse the word "MUCH"



Kids nowadays...and mga pa conyo kids nowadays, use the word "much" excessively.  I just want to take out all the keys of my keyboard, and pin them all on my forehead whenever I see people use "much" this way:


Happy much?

Excited much?
in love much?
crazy much?
Intelligent much?

Sleepy much?
Hungy much?
So full much?

Tired much?
Funny much?
rude much?

speak english much?
not cool much?
Annoying much?

wanna break your neck much?
I cannot take it much?
This is so uncool much?
Conyo kids can kiss my ass much?




F*CK THIS MUCH!




"This has to end..this is too much!"

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I HATE THAT CLOWN!


Damn I hate clowns! 


Since I was a kid, I have been terrorized by clowns. 

Everything about them, I hate. 

The laugh, the nose, the color their skin and hair and especially the way they look at you. You just don't know if they'll be making you laugh, or they'll be stabbing you at the back.

Let me break it down to you:


1. The laugh- It's just creepy as hell. Combine the laugh of a hyena and a witch getting satisfied by her own black cat. That's how their laugh sounds like.


2. The nose- Clowns do not deserve to wear a red nose. Only Rudolph does.


3. The white makeup- They look ghostly with it. And nobody likes it.





 This is not a tomato.


4. The hair - Very unpredictable..They make Dennis Rodman look like an amateur!

Watch out for that laser gun!



5. Big liars - They lie big time, they may smile and feel happy for you, but in reality, they want to chew off your ear!


6. They have crazy names - Bozo, Bobo, Doink, Dink, Flunky, Pogo, Krusty and Payaso.






 Come to papa...




If you love clowns,
it only means you're a clown!




But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

Friday, January 1, 2010

THE ALTER-BLOG

Do not forget to visit the alter blog from time to time.




"I'm a lover, not a fighter" 










jobertoholics around the world