I HATE THE BORACAY SAND CASTLE

I HATE
THE BORACAY SAND CASTLE

I may be cute, but a destroyed sand castle is cuter!

99.97% of people who go to Boracay or have been to Boracay, have in their possession: The picture of The Famous Boracay Sand castle. Yes, the one you see inside your friend's myspace, friendster. multiply or facebook account.

We are cool!

Yes!
Your friend has this pic in his/her profile and that makes him/her cool.
NOT!

The white note reads: Do not touch...but it does not say, do not piss.

It's pathetic. Sand Castle...duh.
I'd rather spend my leisure time at the beach taking care of green turtles than making a sand castle. And don't ask for donations from people getting their picture taken with your errr house made out of sand!

Get a life! Go save some whales, dolphins or corals! Do not waste your time making castles!

Faster Ivanhoe! The barbarians are coming!

But wait, It's "THE" BORACAY SAND CASTLE!

So what?

Sorry to break the news, it's not special!

No kings nor queens, no prince charming, no knights, no maidens...NO MAIDENS!

No drawbridge, and possibly no moat with alligators swimming in it.

BORING.

Not like these works of art:

My Dad is gonna kill me......after he gets out.

CIA: Who smiles, dies.

So..Ibong Adarna is no legend after all.

I see my purpose..my mission for the coming months...
I'll go over there this summer, and I will bring my weapon of choice on how to destroy this castle.

There is no spoon...

and this is how I am going to do it.



Why? you ask me?

Because there is only ONE castle that belongs to the beach.
And this is "THE" Best Sandcastle I've ever seen.

World record: built in just less than a second.

So what's good about it?

THESE SAND CASTLES
ARE MADE TO BE DESTROYED!

When I grow up, I wanna be King Kong!

I'd rather juggle 3 live sea urchins while singing the macarena in public than be seen with this Boracay Sand Castle.

THERE IS ONLY ONE CASTLE
I RESPECT AND ADMIRE,
AND IT'S NOT A SAND CASTLE.

IT'S CAMELOT!

Sorry, this is not the one where Sean Connery aka. King Arthur bangs her wife Guinevere.

IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH ME,
I DO NOT CARE!!!
JUST LIKE THE REFEREE IN THAT
"the" ATENEO - DLSU UAAP FINALS.

I HATE YOUR SYNCHRONIZED JUMPING PHOTOS

First of all, it does not make you look cool.

sorry, no nipple slips here.

Second, it's not fun.

simply stupid

Third, you look stupid.

after 10 minutes, they got married.

So you honestly think that capturing the moment of yourself while in mid-air is cool?
Sorry to break the news, it's not.
Funny thing is, people do this mostly on the beach, they think it's legal to look like retards while vacationing.

It's so sickening that I'd rather put live jellyfish all over my body. Bottomline: It's not cool, it's not legal, it's not acceptable, it's not normal and it does not even match up to the "jumping pictures" that I consider cool.

Check them out, ignoramuses:

This is what everyone should witness

Mario is the jumping master, fool!

So next time you plan on doing this stupid stuff in public, think twice...or better yet, have a rope and get ready and do this: