It's July 2012 and these are the things that I freaking hate right now:

1. Call me Maybe videos - Do I have to explain? Hey, I just saw you. That video is crazy, here's a duct tape, SO SHUT UP maybe?

2. "HBD" - Idiotically put as "Happy Birthday" People are so fucking lazy right now and they just put acronyms. Birthdays should be sacred and special and putting "HBD" will not cut it. It's like saying "Happy birthday and napilitan lang ako" -Another HBD meaning could be: Herpes Brings Death.

3. STOP putting #hashtags in your facebook status messages! - Damn. I don't get this. Tweets are different from facebook status messages. You look lame trying to be cool. #justhating.


4. Charice Pempengco - The hate level would be Charice>Bieber. Really!


5. PeTA - They tell you to stop killing animals.But what do they do if they can't handle the stray dogs/animals they have? They euthanize them. Assholes.

6. Please die if you talk 9gag. - If you use these words in your everyday life: "Me gusta, you don't say, seems legit, Impossibru!, One does not simply..(put your cool statement here), come at me bro, forever alone, etc." PLEASE DIE. 


7. 50 shades of Grey - You don't have to brag about reading it. We know you can read, but bragging your taste in reading is devastating. Why not read a Stephen Hawking book? or A Michiu Kaku book? What you read is bullshit and you brag about it. Everybody is going gaga, everybody is going crazy. It's fucking stupid. Remember: ANYTHING connected or related with Twilight automatically sucks. 

If you love 50 shades of Grey, I hope your stalker gets you.

GOODBYE 2011

GOOD RIDDANCE!

They say 2012 is the year of the "end". Sorry, last time I checked, the Mayans just failed to finish their calendar no thanks to the Spaniards who literally made them dinosaurs.

I hate the "ang babae" piece

After creepling in facebook, I stumbled upon this article/piece about women. FYI, the "friend" who posted this just got un-friended.

ANG MGA BABAE.....

1. Moody: Inborn na sa mga babae to. Kung badtrip kami, wag niyo nang sasabayan.

-Wait, kapag moody kami, sumasabay kayo ha! This is just crazy.

2. Pag sinabi naming nagtatampo kami, lambing lang katapat: Yung salitang tampo way lang namin yun para sabihing lambingin niyo kami. Konting I love you niyo lang, okay na kami.

-Thats the fuckin problem. Be straight to the point! We're not codebreakers nor jigsaw puzzle solvers. And stop bullshittin` simpleng "I love you" DOES NOT WORK.



3. Gusto namin yung palagi kaming kino-compliment: Pag may bago sa itsura namin, gusto naming mapansin niyo. Kasi nakakataas ng self-confidence namin yun.

-WTF. Tapos sasabihin nyo bolero kami. THis is BS. We can't totally do this as this will backfire on us. What if you gained a lil wait? Thats new! Gusto mo pansinin namen? That's fuckin suicide man.


4. Pag napansin niyong naging sersyoso yung mga text namin, may mali: Kapag ganun, may nagawa kayong di namin nagustuhan. Kaya be alert. Kapag sinabe naming wala, meron talaga. Nahihiya lang kami. Kaya pilitin niyo kaming sabihin sa inyo. At pagtapos naming masabi, konting lambing lang. Back to normal na ulit.

-Bullshit. Really. Kung meron kami nagawa, tell us! Or is it just your hormones talking again? 

5. Selosa kami: Kaya iwasan niyong makipag harutan sa ibang girls. Lalo na sa harapan namin. Pero may ibang babae na tahimik lang kung mag-selos. Inoobserabahan lang kayo. Pero kapag napuno, simula na ng away.

-Geez. Listen to Marques Houston's "That Girl". You'll get our point.

6. Kaming mga babae, normal lang ang ma-attract sa mga gwapo: Hanggang tingin lang kami. Kasi hindi naman na namin makikita ulit. Ma-attract man kami sa 1M lalaki, ang puso namin ay para lang sa tunay naming mahal. Ganun din naman kayong mga lalaki. Kapag nakakita ng maganda at sexy. Magaling lang kayong magtago.

-Okay..so why the fuck did you even mention number 5? Fuckin` Moron. Magaling magtago? Kung magaling eh di sana hindi nyo nalaman right? Who's the bitch who wrote this again?


7. Kaming mga babae, pinagmamalaki namin yung mga mahal namin ng hindi nila nalalaman: Katulad nalang sa mga GM (Group Message), Facebook at TUMBLR.

-Who cares. Panay kayo yabang. My Bf is like this, he owns this, he bought me this, etc. SCREW THAT! Kill the insecurities ..now. 


8. Ayaw namin sa mga manliligaw na nagmamadali: Yung tipo ng mga lalaking laging nagtatanong kung kailan ba namin sila sasagutin. Naiirita kami. Kaya dapat maging matiyaga kayo kasi dun namin nalalaman kung sino talaga kayo.

-With a girl like you? I bet you won't be having suitors like that. Say, I'm like Manny Pangilinan rich, would you even hesitate? Stop lying.


9. Kapag malungkot o tahimik kami, gusto namin ng yakap galing sa inyo: Kasi iba yung pakiramdam kapag hawak niyo na kami. Gumagaan yung pakiramdam namin. :">

-Yeah right. How about new clothes? Shoes? or bags? 

10. Gustong gusto namin yung mga lalaking malaki ang respeto samin: Yung tipong pag ayaw namin magpa-kiss, hindi niyo gagawin. Instead, lalambingin ka na lang sa ibang paraan. Ang pinaka gusto naming kiss, kiss on the forehead. It symbolizes, respect.

-french kissing your forehead will never be respectful.


11. Ang nagpapa-turn on samin ay yung lalaking protective: Yung kapag kasama namin kayo, feeling namin safe na safe kami. Walang mangyayaring masama at hindi kami ilalagay sa panganib.

-Fuck. Who do you think I am? Kevin Costner?

12. Ayaw namin sa lalaking hanggang text lang: Kung mahal niyo talaga kami, patunayan niyo sa personal. Wag yung sa text lang kayo magaling. Magpaka-lalaki kayo!

-I feel sad for those with Long distance relationships. Let me translate this piece of crap - "Punuin ang balikbayan box and get be that freakin new Iphone 4s!"

13. Sobra kaming natutuwa sa mga lalaking ma-effort: Yung kahit walang special day, feel mo eh special ang araw araw niyo. Kasi sobrang nakakatuwa kapag ang lalaki laging nagpuput in ng effort. Feeling naming babae eh, isa kaming prinsesa.

-How about YOUR fuckin effort? Ganito ba kayo ka insecure? Damn.  Effort my ass. Listening to you nag is enough effort. I mean, c'mon. It is what it is.



14. Ang pangarap naming mga babae yung ipapakilala kami ng mga lalaki sa kanilang mga barkada at lalo na sakanilang pamilya: Feeling namin kami na yung pinaka maswerteng babae sa mundo. Kasi iilan lang ang lalaking naglalakas loob ipakilala kami sa parents at barkada nila. Yung iba kasi nahihiya. At feeling din nmin angkin na angkin na namin ang isang lalaki dahil nakilala na namin ang mga taong bumubuo sa buhay niya. :)


-Uhuh. I have to agree. Tell your guy na pakilala ka rin nya sa asawa nya and sa anak nya. LOL!

15. Magaling kaming mag-pretend: Kapag nasasaktan kami, nagpapaka-manhind kami. Kapag may nakitang di maganda, nagbubulagbulagan kami. Kapag may narinig na mali, nagbibingibingihan kami. Pero kapag mag-isa nalang kami, dun kami naglalabas ng sakit. Dun kami umiiyak. Kaya ang pangarap naming lalaki is yung sensitive enough sa mga nararamdaman namin. Yung kayang magtanong hanggang sa umamin kami.

-Pretentious bitch! You make the world complicated. If we do something wrong, be considerate and tell us about it. So less damage is done. Don't let us screw the night for you or the moment for you. Stop men from doing more damage. Then you blame us in the end when its YOUR fault you didn't stop us. Like what you hear everyday: "prevention is better than cure"

Fuck this piece. Really fuckin ruined my day. I guess I'll start eating ice cream while crying while watching glee or my favorite telenovela or even "the notebook" while I wait until I get my fuckin period. And to top it all of, I'd NEVER realize and accept that just probably, I create my own issues and problems. Oh..I forgot, only girls do this.

Say goodbye to your tattoo's credibility

You just killed it man!

astig points minus 1,000,000,000

WTF moment #1

WTF MOMENT #1

PRETTY MUCH SELF EXPLANATORY

I HATE FRIENDSTER

Not really though, I just want to let you know, that I finally have a facebook account. 

CLICK HERE TO ACCESS MY FACEBOOK ACCOUNT 

AND BE A JOBERTOMANIAC!

Hating on: Pink shirt + your GF's handbag

And when you thought you have seen the worst... you get to see this abomination:

Fellas, c'mon..stop this foolishness.

It's not nice, proper, cool to carry your girlfriend's handbag.  Remember my post before?

It looks like this guy hasn't read my blog. 

His loss since this is the most educational blog in the net today.

PINK SHIRT+CARRYING YOUR GF's BAG = DISASTER

Good thing he didn't pop his collar, I would've stuck something sharp like a pen or a knife on both of my eyes just so not to see this prime example of failure of failures.

"I honestly thought penitensya was over.. I guess not. Now I have to stare at this picture for 6 hours and cry like a baby."

I HATE THAT CLOWN!

Damn I hate clowns! 

Since I was a kid, I have been terrorized by clowns. 

Everything about them, I hate. 

The laugh, the nose, the color their skin and hair and especially the way they look at you. You just don't know if they'll be making you laugh, or they'll be stabbing you at the back.

Let me break it down to you:

1. The laugh- It's just creepy as hell. Combine the laugh of a hyena and a witch getting satisfied by her own black cat. That's how their laugh sounds like.

2. The nose- Clowns do not deserve to wear a red nose. Only Rudolph does.

3. The white makeup- They look ghostly with it. And nobody likes it.

 This is not a tomato.

4. The hair - Very unpredictable..They make Dennis Rodman look like an amateur!

Watch out for that laser gun!

5. Big liars - They lie big time, they may smile and feel happy for you, but in reality, they want to chew off your ear!

6. They have crazy names - Bozo, Bobo, Doink, Dink, Flunky, Pogo, Krusty and Payaso.

 Come to papa...

7. Clowns are evil - Remember this SCENE from Poltergeist?

If you love clowns,
it only means you're a clown!

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

OVER THE TOP AWARD

I cannot believe this blog won an award..

the

"most annoying blogger"

And I can't believe I'm doing this.

But since I was given an award..

Well I guess I'd have to do this.

First, I want to thank the

Girl With Glasses

who gave me this award.

Sometimes you just have to wonder, what if she takes her glasses off? Will her blog change its name automatically? I guess not, because we don't have that technology yet. And if you even thought of the answer, it only means you're stupid.

By accepting this award, few questions must be answered.
(Wow..I'm really doing this)

1. Your hair? Bushy..
   
2. Your Mother? Currently addicted to farmtown.
   
3. Your Father? Does not know about this blog.
   
4. Your favorite food? Sushi
   
5. Your dream last night? I had a boxing match with Krista Ranillo (I lost)
   
6. Your favorite drink? Water.
   
7. Your dream/goal? To be your reality check.
   
8. What room are you in? My command console center.
   
9. Your hobbies? Blogging and People watching.
   
10. Your fear? Chuck Norris.
    
11. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Inside your head.
    
12. Where were you last night? stayed up all night looking for UFOs.
    
13. Something that you aren't? A fan of twilight.
    
14. Muffins? No. I am not your cat.
    
15. Wish list item? Nuclear bomb.
    
16. Where did you grow up? Quezon City.
    
17. Last thing you did? Farted.
    
18. What are you wearing? Nothing...but clothes.
    
19. Your TV? Its colored.....black.
    
20. Your Pets? I got 3 Dogs and 3 Marsupials.
    
21. Friends? They love me..especially when Xmas is getting near.
    
22. Your Life? excitingly boring.
    
23. Your Mood? Hating on everything.
    
24. Vehicle? A big white horse.
    
25. Something you're not wearing? A bra...
    
26. Your favorite store? Any..with pretty sales ladies.
    
27. Your favorite color? Black and White.
    
28. When was the last time you laughed? When I saw this big guy carrying her GF's bag.
    
29. Last time you cried? When I thought of Chuck Norris.
    
30. Your best friend? Pandoy.
    
31. One place that I go to over and over? The washroom.
    
32. Facebook? Still thinking if I have to create an account for this blog.
    
33. Favorite place to eat? Table..with plates of course.
    

I am passing this award to the most educational blogger i have ever known...


JOBERT BALBASTRO!!

“The test of any man's character is how he takes praise”

I HATE SANTA CLAUS

I STILL HATE THE GUY IN RED!

No, I'm not talking about former president Ferdinand Marcos. Just like last year, the reasons still remain why I hate Santa Claus.


click HERE to go back in time.

i love my work

Just to add, here is another reason...

He is a perv.

sit still tommy..

Yes. Why would a stranger, an old guy who just appears only once a year obligate kids to sit on his lap just to get what they want?

People got mad at Michael Jackson and R. Kelly, but they never did complain about Santa.

Talk about being unfair.

CALLING DSWD and BANTAY BATA!

He cheats.

daddy is in saudi...

Ever wonder about the history of the song "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus" came about? It did happen to the creator of the song, Tommie Connor. No, it was not his father..it was Santa. Yeah!


"Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas?
You know... the birth of Santa."

I hate it when you say "THE" Ateneo

FBI

WARNING

*Para sa mga hindi marunong magbasa, basahin ulit yung nasa itaas ha..basahin ng mabuti* Nabasa mo na yung title? naintindihan mo?
Kung hindi pa, basahin mo ulit... okay na? Understood na ba? Okay.. proceed below:

As per Wikipedia: The Ateneo de Manila University (also called "Ateneo de Manila" or simply "the Ateneo").

What is so simple in adding "the" before the name of your (to you, "the") school?

Common sense tells us that it's shorter and simpler if you just say "Ateneo" Who are we kidding?

ADMU is already a fine institution which has produced the finest leaders in our country...

ERAP and his best friends: Czarina Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and Czaritso (sic) Mike Arroyo came from "the" Ateneo.

Jose P. Rizal is the most-famous and foremost Ateneo alumnus.

(o bawi ako ah!)

Beat that!
(You can't! Know why? Because your school does not have any "the" before it!)

***But by adding "THE" before the name of the school is like adding insult to injury. Just like what Wesley Gonzales did to that prick Mac Cardona back in the days when the Green Archer juggernaut got blocked 2 times in his attempt to win the game just before the buzzer.***

I use THE shampoo! And you don't!

So the question lingers:
Why add "THE" ???

Wala lang!

Just to separate "Us" from the rest of the population.

Heaven and earth
Pula at puti
Light and darkness
Eat Bulaga and Wowowee
and so on...

Jobert Balbastro thinks that it's crazy... simply, its "the" elitistic-ego-booster.

Let us analyze...

The statement 1: I am THE Man.

what it means:
1. Term used to describe an individual who holds authority over another, such as an employment supervisor or police officer.
2. Term used to describe an individual who has achieved either a great accomplishment, or who is viewed as being an altogether good person.

Translation: "You suck"

The Statement 2: "I study in THE Ateneo"

what it means: I study in the best damn school ever, which is Ateneo.

Translation: "You suck"

Okay, now I think you get the picture.

I just don't know where they got it. Even back in the 80's and even in the 90's, Ateneans did not put "The" before the name of the school.

I just hope they did not get it from the "rival" school "DLSU"

Guys, its NOT
"The La Salle University"
it's
"De La Salle University"

JOBERT BALBASTRO's VERDICT:
I HATE IT AND IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU COOL!

"Have you heard about "THE" joke?
Why is THE sky blue?
Because God is an Atenean
Why is THE grass green?
It is created by God to step on."

MAY POLL RESULTS

I know it's not 2010. But here is a poll we made for you guys and girls.

Last poll was:

WHO IS THE GAYEST OF THEM ALL?

WINNER: Men who wear popped collars 45%

"I'm cool...like Piolo Pascual cool"

Other votes:
Men who watch Gossip girl 31%
Men who carry handbags 18%
Men who wear pink shirts 1%

For a total of 100% and obviously, men who do them are indeed and considered as such.



"Unlike the National or Local May polls that we have, this one is fraud free!"




PS. Watch out for the next poll....