OVER THE TOP AWARD

I cannot believe this blog won an award..

the

"most annoying blogger"

And I can't believe I'm doing this.

But since I was given an award..

Well I guess I'd have to do this.

First, I want to thank the

Girl With Glasses

who gave me this award.

Sometimes you just have to wonder, what if she takes her glasses off? Will her blog change its name automatically? I guess not, because we don't have that technology yet. And if you even thought of the answer, it only means you're stupid.

By accepting this award, few questions must be answered.
(Wow..I'm really doing this)

1. Your hair? Bushy..
   
2. Your Mother? Currently addicted to farmtown.
   
3. Your Father? Does not know about this blog.
   
4. Your favorite food? Sushi
   
5. Your dream last night? I had a boxing match with Krista Ranillo (I lost)
   
6. Your favorite drink? Water.
   
7. Your dream/goal? To be your reality check.
   
8. What room are you in? My command console center.
   
9. Your hobbies? Blogging and People watching.
   
10. Your fear? Chuck Norris.
    
11. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Inside your head.
    
12. Where were you last night? stayed up all night looking for UFOs.
    
13. Something that you aren't? A fan of twilight.
    
14. Muffins? No. I am not your cat.
    
15. Wish list item? Nuclear bomb.
    
16. Where did you grow up? Quezon City.
    
17. Last thing you did? Farted.
    
18. What are you wearing? Nothing...but clothes.
    
19. Your TV? Its colored.....black.
    
20. Your Pets? I got 3 Dogs and 3 Marsupials.
    
21. Friends? They love me..especially when Xmas is getting near.
    
22. Your Life? excitingly boring.
    
23. Your Mood? Hating on everything.
    
24. Vehicle? A big white horse.
    
25. Something you're not wearing? A bra...
    
26. Your favorite store? Any..with pretty sales ladies.
    
27. Your favorite color? Black and White.
    
28. When was the last time you laughed? When I saw this big guy carrying her GF's bag.
    
29. Last time you cried? When I thought of Chuck Norris.
    
30. Your best friend? Pandoy.
    
31. One place that I go to over and over? The washroom.
    
32. Facebook? Still thinking if I have to create an account for this blog.
    
33. Favorite place to eat? Table..with plates of course.
    

I am passing this award to the most educational blogger i have ever known...


JOBERT BALBASTRO!!

“The test of any man's character is how he takes praise”

I HATE THE WAY YOU WAY YOU WEAR YOUR CAP

Do you wear your cap like this?

If you wear your cap like that, then screw you..haha! kidding.. don't worry that much, you still have a chance to save your life. A 1 in a million chance, but that's better than nothing.

There are 3 things you can do:

1. Read a book - Yes, stop malling, stop slacking, stop hustlin` and start reading. What book? One should start reading the book that will be useful, a book that will help you with your life. Do not read "Purpose driven life", it's a ripoff. One should be reading "How to wear a cap for dummies" or "How not to make a fool out of yourself".


2. Be a train engineer - Only train engineers are allowed to wear hats like that. GO and apply in PNR now!

Mom, it's legal to wear this stupid hat!

3. Wear a dunce cap - It's cool and unique. At least you won't be an eye sore...and you can even use the pointed hat as a weapon. ONLY COOL PEOPLE WEAR THIS CAP! So go for it!

I'm the coolest!

"As you can see..I wear my cap properly! And hell yes, I can rhyme too!"

I HATE THOSE 2010 POLITICAL ADS!

2010 Presidentiable wannabes:

I HATE YOUR POLITICAL ADS!

Damn I hate that Mar Roxas political Ad!

Who do they think they are fooling?

Those are theater actors! Well, some of 'em.

If you want to make an ad "realistic", use REAL people!

Gayahin nyo si National Artist Carlo J. Caparas! HAHA!

Topless with my hardtop down..cruisin...

I wonder who your campaign manager is...just wondering, I do not want to be him or her.
Just like his commercial before,
"Mr Palengke"-- the fat lady there is a theater actress!

I feel insulted by the commercial.

It's like getting bukakked with stupid.

Typical Trapo commercial... Drama shit, Full of BS..

Hey, MAR.. I'M SICK OF IT. The style?
Use what I call "The Filipino Weakness" So what is it?

It's old people, and a small kid and drama in a palengke setting.

Parang Wowowee lang.

"Wag kayo matakot..Lalaban tayo..."
What a stupid tagline.

Better taglines for him include:
"Kung corrupt ka, ikukulong kita!" or this:

"PUTANG INA!"

shocked

If you feel his political ad strikes you and touches your heart....
then I pity you.

May Zeus' lightning strike you...in the ass.

I said ass...not head...mmmm...ass..

Damn Trapo...

Speaking of TRAPO...

How about Manny Villar's commercial?
It's too orangey for me.

Kala ko Sunkist commercial eh.

eto po ang Aga Muhlach ng Tondo..

I like his Voltes V commercial more.

The new one he has...well "akala ko maganda..ang panget pala!"

the style?

Target the youth, use a song from a band. And use the color orange.
And then add a little "that's my boy" pose.

Sorry, you won't get my vote...

Unless reroute a hi-way en to our home so we can get paid..just like you did. =) Damn..you missed my house by this much!

Why can't his commercials be like..err..Bayani Fernando's?

maginoo pero mejo bastos

BORING!
BUT STRAIGHT TO THE POINT!

HOHOHO!

Roll out!

WHERE THE HELL IS EDDIE GIL WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!

Winning tagline: "Babayaran ko ang utang ng Pilipinas"

"I don't know what to say...I'm too distracted..Damn that Lady Gaga..."

I HATE SANTINO - "May Bukas Pa"

I hate the kid...and the show...

Okay, I'll make up reasons why I hate the kid and the show.

1. His mouth is bigger than mine! - Chicks dig this, and I guess Santino beat me to the punch.

say "MANNA!"

2. When we take a vote on what to watch, I always lose..People at home want to watch this crap. I'm still praying for the day the character dies together with the show.Ventriloquist... NOT

3. It's a ripoff, yes he will die just like the original film they copied it from. "MARCELINO" wow...how original..haha!

he dies in the end, goes to heaven END OF STORY..now let me watch!

4. His name is too unique and bad ass!

Who names their kids ZAJIAN?

5. He attracts the finest women!!!

Partida na yan..supot pa yan.

"Jobert, you really have issues..this kid is so angelic...so innocent...so adorable and lovable! I think I love him already! Oh noh..I'm having my Michael-Jackson-syndrome again!"

I HATE THOSE "HEART" SHAPES

Heart sign.... Really now.. I thought the V sign and the star signs were disasters never to be outdone..but damn, I was wrong..

Parang TV shopping... "BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!"

Damn.

You'll never see me do this. I'd rather pull out my own heart, feed it to my dog than to be seen making heart shapes using my hands.

This is not cool. Nor it is human to do such an act. Emos do this. It's that simple.

okay..nasira na ang araw ko...

Also, you know why this ain't cool?

Reason: It's not even the REAL shape of a heart. If you want to be do something, do it right.

Plus I hate emo kids. Have to liquidate at least one orc a week.

Those damn orcs!

There are only 2 signs accepted by Jobert Balbastro and this blog:

Spock says: Spock you!

"Have a nice day" salute

"Humans are really creative! I only use my finger in picking my nose and when I finger my keyboard. Heck, that's the only thing I can get my fingers on...I love my keyboard."

Preview of things to come....

"Jobert (the owner of this magnificent and educational blog site is my best friend... Even if I do not agree with some of his beliefs and ideas, he is still a friend indeed. Actually, he is more like my brother. Not the Cain and Abel type of relationship, but it`s more like the Vic Sotto and Tito Sotto kind of relationship a third member of our brotherhood will be introduced soon. But I must warn you, he is dangerous and violent.... Speaking of brothers... Jobert has mentioned to me that there is this group of "brothers" who think they are cool and is currently making Curly, Larry and Moe look bad..imagine that! Even Mario and Luigi are threatened... Alvin, Simon and Theodore are already digging holes. THIS MUST STOP! With the help from my "brother" Jobert, we will be telling you who they are..and why we hate them!" (Enter suspense music here)

I Hate it when you carry your girlfriend's handbag!

There is nothing (well, not really) that I loathe more than seeing men carry their Girlfriend's handbag.

First of all, it's not being a gentleman. Believe me, women have used this propaganda to enslave the masculine race. I may sound like a chauvinistic pig, but this is reality. I'd rather be called a pig than be a liar. (yes!)

This image has brought new meaning to "Iron Man"

Fellas, are you familiar with this line:

"Be a gentleman and carry my bag, please?"

Gets 'em every time!

Reality Check: Carrying your GF's handbag will NOT make you a gentleman. It won't even make you look good. Your friends will laugh at you. Your dog will disown you. And people you do not even know will look at you with pity.

Trust me, with matching pink-popped-collared shirt. You could be mistaken as the next Carson Kressley, Thom Filicia or Jai Rodriguez.

Heck, even without the pink shirt on, you'd still look gay with a capital G...More like "G" as in Gago.

Add a handbag to your "accessory" and you're a certified H-sexual.

Ladies, if you can't carry your own bag. Just don't bring any. You'll only make your boyfriend look weak: the failure of failures, the weakest weakling, the softest cotton. You do get the picture I suppose... Sure, treat your men like slaves, but not in public. Give him the respect he needs..err deserves even for just a few minutes or at least when you go out and date. Siya naman ang magbabayad ng kakainin nyo eh dba?

Free Men from slavery!

Since the beginning of time (well, not really), women have been clamoring for equality: The right to vote, gender equality and empowerment of women (not in the Spice Girls kind). But having your girl, carry her bag for you IN PUBLIC is not a good idea. There is no equality here. This is blatant slavery and oppression. Women, you have your own space in the MRT and We don't, so stop having men carry your bag and stop riding with us in the MRT!

"I would rather carry sacks of Rice or sacks of Horse shit than carry a woman's handbag."--Jobert Balbastro

"I remember the time when I had this girlfriend, she would always forcibly make me carry her Luwi Vattong handbag. I felt proud before because I have never held such an expensive bag. After a few months, I found out the bag was fake. What broke my heart was when I found out my Girlfriend was also fake."