I HATE YOUR PLAID SHORTS

Even with tats, you still look gay

After the introduction of popped collars and shutter shades..here comes a new one. Ladies and gentlemen...welcome another GAYdom abomination...

PLAID SHORTS

I have seen it, you have seen it and it's official..it's here!

Plaid is so gay that it makes you step on yourself for no reason at all

Fellas, c'mon... PLAID is made ONLY for women and for Scotsmen.
If you have a vagina or if you blow pipes like a scotsmen, then go ahead, wear plaid shorts/skirt.

Plaid: made for women

I've seen TV personalities who wear Plaid shorts already. And they are all gay. Some guy named Jericho Rosales, Piolo Pascual, Sam Milby and our favorite Gary V. (for the record, I WAS BEING SARCASTIC).

ooops

Save yourselves and save your face.

MEN, STOP WEARING PLAID.

If you can't help it, just wear it inside your room wherein nobody will be able to see it.

Plaid: When gays bust-a-move

"With PLAID, You won't get LAID."
-Jobert Balbastro

Women on plaid: Manna from heaven

"I wear plaid briefs and I know women will love it! The only problem is they have no opportunity to see it as I like the lights turned off."

I hate your Videoke songs!

My list of hateful Videoke songs...

1. Creed- My Sacrifice (the real sacrifice will be listening to this)
2. Edwin Mccain - I'll be (I'll be going home early when I hear this)
3. Rob Thomas - unwell (Everybody will be unwell after you have sung it)
4. Freestyle - Bakit ngayon ka lang (Bakit ngayon ka lang natuto kumanta?!)
5. Incubus - Wish you were here (Wish you were not!)
6. Incubus - Drive (You drive me crazy!)
7. David Cook - Always be my baby (Mariah's version is the best!)
8. Gloria Gaynor - I will survive (No, you won't) -The song abused by the homosexual population
9. Marco Sison - My love will see you through (No it won't)
10. Evanessence - My immortal (You're not..try singing "My way")

kakanta ka or susuntukin kita?

11. Goo Goo Dolls - Iris (You will never be an angel, stop fantasizing)
12. Whitney Houston - I have nothing (You have no voice too)
13. Abba- Dancing Queen (This song is the most abused ever!)
14. The Foundations - Build Me Up Buttercup (People sing this, they do not even know who did it)
15. Chaka Khan - Through The Fire (Good song, but abused!)
16. Aerosmith - i dont want to miss a thing (I wanna miss this one)
17. The calling - Where ever you will go (Stop it..guys..stop singing this song!)
18. Creed - With Arms Wide Open (I...can't...stand...it...anymore!)
19. Bonnie Tyler/Nikki French - Total Eclipse of the Heart (Sorry! hahahaha!)
20. Celine Dion - "My Heart Will Go On" (No, it won't and Titanic the movie sucks!)


* "My way" was not included because I want too see if it's really true that you'd get shot when you sing "My way."

* "Anything For Love" by Meatloaf was not included..because it has a great video.



"My favorite song is "Life dance", the problem is I do not see it in the song list of every Vidoeke bar in the country. I even travelled around the globe in search of this, and I have not seen nor heard anyone singing it in KTV spots. This is really depressing... I want to sing "My way" now..."

What I hate 2008

THE HATE OF 2008

1. Twilight -Overhyped and Overrated..result? Disappointment.

2. James Yap - Stop running MR. Overrated. And just like his wife, he has this attitude problem.

Where is Kris when I need her??

3. Shutter Shades - You are not Kanye West.

4. Those crazy scarves! aka shemagh- Yasser Arafat will bomb your house..that is if he was still alive.

You wear a scarf..I bomb your house.

5. "Always be my baby" by David Cook- Stop it already, please.

6. The Boston Celtics and their Bandwagon fans - A real fan huh? So who was the team's starting 5 before KG jumped ship?

A blow by blow coverage of KG

7. Sarah Palin- she's hot, but I hate her. But she's hot...

8. EMO kids- With the bangs covering one eye, and with "depression" smell in the air. I never would have thought being depressed was "cool".

Not in the face, but in the gonads!

9. Gossip Girl - Trying hard to be like Laguna Beach..never heard? go figure.

10. Shisha- Not cool. You look like that caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland. Woopee!

"One puff, Alice. One won't hurt" --Peer pressure

11. Lebron James - Media's favorite, every bandwagon fan's favorite "King".

The "king" let down the robe.

12. Gabriel Valenciano- Who the hell is he? Gary V.'s son. You know what? I hate your dad too.

Quezon City Circle pose.

13. Rayver Cruz- The name alone is the green light for haterdom.

Why Shaina? Why?

14. The hosts of Wowowee- Please..stop...shouting!
15. Boracay/Embassy/Ascend gimik showoff pics - And how did you get it? Oh...by guest list..lol.
16. Lomography/Fish eye- Overrated, not cool. It will not make you artsy, you fartsy.
17. Britney Spears - Stop playing her songs in the radio! Please! Or imma hit you one more time!
18. Santa Claus- The God of greed and materialism! He's not even real!

19 "Jump shots" - Be it in the beach, office or in the club, this will never be cool!

20. Freddie Roach- Why? Because he said this: “In a perfect world, I would like to see him fight Ricky Hatton and then Floyd Mayweather Jr. and then I would like to see Manny retire, and become President of the Philippines.”--Okay, Freddie...

"Show me the Manny! Show me the Manny!"

"When it rained last December 31, it did not stop me from lighting firerworks! I was still able to make paputok. Pinutok ko sa loob! I was able to set a sawa inside the house and I was able to drive out not only the evil spirits, but also the residents of our house! Beat that!"

I HATE THAT THING ON YOUR NECK

Even Emos get to wear em!

No, it's not your dead skin building up (Libag). It's your "color oriented" Neck Accessory.

Do you know what it's called?

It's a Keffiyeh also known as Shemagh.

It's not just the latest thing in fashion, it's also the latest eye sore.
Next to Pink shirts, Popped collars, and our favorite Shutter Shades.

So what is it?
Why are you wearing it?
Oh, you didn't know?
It figures, I can see you wearing that Che Guevara shirt. Do you even know who the guy is?

Correct! He is the brother or Tootsie! What a genius!

Let's go back to the uncool fashion storm that has hit the country like Katrina hit the US.

It's a SHEMAGH, Keffiyeh or your "stupid fashion statement" (So tell me, is this statement "I AM A MORON WHO WANT TO BE COOL"? )

People, read and learn...

It was Traditionally worn by Palestinian peasants, the keffiyeh became a symbol of

Palestinian nationalism during the Arab Revolt of the 1930...Increased sympathy and activism by certain Westerners toward Palestinians in the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict in the years of the Oslo Peace Accords and Second Intifada haveled to the wearing of keffiyehs as a sign of their solidarity with Palestine and the Palestinian people....

But now, some individuals wear them to be hip. Even if our country is so hot like pandesal left inside the compartment of your car. Or to be cool and to be like their idolized stars.

go watch your own sex tape!

Before, it was your Fauxhawk, now this? I should murder you already.

Can I whip your hip? and put some reality in your illusional coolness?

Can I simply strangle you with it?

Reality is this, it's not cool.
Hey, Mr. call center guy, it's not cool.
Hey, Mr. Gay guy, it's not cool
Hey, Mr. Self proclaimed fashionista, it's not cool.
Hey, Mr. Me-too, it's not cool.
Hey, Mr. Copycat, it's not cool.
Hey, Mr. Wannabe-trendsetter, it's not cool.

FAIL!

ONLY ONE GUY CAN WEAR A SCARF AND BE COOL

Cool as ice baby!

As for the Keffiyeh or Shemagh, Only one guy is cool in wearing this.

If you wear that in your concert, we will riot.

No, it's not Chris Brown.

BUT THIS GUY:

Yasser!

Too bad he's dead.

So what do I want you to wear? (nothing really)
I recommend a better neck accessory.
It will surely make you look like your're above everyone else.

Maybe it's time you hang out.

I HATE BADMINTON

If there is one sport that I will never love nor play, it is Badminton. From the root word "Bad", it is really that bad. It's not a contact sport so it's automatically BORING. The only thing you really get in contact with is with the ShuttleCOCK, so this game is automatically considered "GAY".

quit clowning around!

It's official: BADMINTON IS GAY

2 become 1

It makes you look gay and makes you love cocks. Women are the only ones who should play this sport, unless they are lesbians, they should be cleaning carpets on weekends. When the badminton craze hit the country, I said "more cocks will be hit this year.." and it was true, an average of 50,000 hits happen in one night alone. From call center agents/slaves to Managers to Government employees, almost everybody (with an arm), play(ed) badminton.

Who wear short shorts?

Office encounter:

Employee 1: Pare, san ka punta? bakit may raketa ka? Magtetennis ka ba?
Employee 2: Dude, pare.. I'm going to play Badminton later. Sama ka, it's cool pare.
Employee 1: Ha? Di ako marunong nyan eh, basketball na lang. Chaka, paano naging cool ang badminton?
Employee 2: Basketball? Sawa na ako sa balls dude, it's time to play with cocks naman. It's a sport for sosy people, it's the "in" sport now. You get to hangout with big people like the managers and supevisors, even artistas pare...It's fully airconditioned naman kaya it's cool, dude.
Employee 1: Cool? Aircondition? (gago pala to eh..) So playing badminton make you sosy?
Employee 2: Of course, dude! Only the elite play badminton!
Employee 1: Oh..di ako pwede jan..chaka kelangan ko umuwi ng bahay ng maaga at baka makalimutan nanaman magluto ng katulong namen dahil sa paglalaro ng badminton sa labas ng bahay..
Employee 2: Ahh..err...pare you heard na ba about this new movie coming? Dude, yung Twilight!
Employee 1: That movie sucks man.. It only appeals to teen girls, and the actual ‘plot’ is really idiotic.
Employee 1: Umm, let's talk about the NBA na lang..

Big Cocks will rock you.

But who really made this sport popular?
TV exposure? NO. A Hollywood movie? NO. Eat Bulaga? NO. A book! Harry Potter plays Badminton! NO. Piolo Pascual? NO. Sam Milby! NO.

Then who?

It's your dependable, underpaid Maid/Helper/Katulong. Our maid was the best player in badminton in our subdivision. She plays with other katulongs after doing her chores. They play outside, in front of the house to the delight of Construction workers and "boys". The funny thing is, there is no such thing as a score. They end the game when they are called back by their employers to cook dinner or when it's too dark for them to see the cocks.

Even Badminton was played by 16th century maids

For women only indeed

Conclusion: Women are the only ones who should play Badminton, Men...please stay away..if you love cocks, go for sabong.