Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I hate the "ang babae" piece

After creepling in facebook, I stumbled upon this article/piece about women. FYI, the "friend" who posted this just got un-friended.



ANG MGA BABAE.....

1. Moody: Inborn na sa mga babae to. Kung badtrip kami, wag niyo nang sasabayan.

-Wait, kapag moody kami, sumasabay kayo ha! This is just crazy.

2. Pag sinabi naming nagtatampo kami, lambing lang katapat: Yung salitang tampo way lang namin yun para sabihing lambingin niyo kami. Konting I love you niyo lang, okay na kami.

-Thats the fuckin problem. Be straight to the point! We're not codebreakers nor jigsaw puzzle solvers. And stop bullshittin` simpleng "I love you" DOES NOT WORK.



3. Gusto namin yung palagi kaming kino-compliment: Pag may bago sa itsura namin, gusto naming mapansin niyo. Kasi nakakataas ng self-confidence namin yun.

-WTF. Tapos sasabihin nyo bolero kami. THis is BS. We can't totally do this as this will backfire on us. What if you gained a lil wait? Thats new! Gusto mo pansinin namen? That's fuckin suicide man.


4. Pag napansin niyong naging sersyoso yung mga text namin, may mali: Kapag ganun, may nagawa kayong di namin nagustuhan. Kaya be alert. Kapag sinabe naming wala, meron talaga. Nahihiya lang kami. Kaya pilitin niyo kaming sabihin sa inyo. At pagtapos naming masabi, konting lambing lang. Back to normal na ulit.

-Bullshit. Really. Kung meron kami nagawa, tell us! Or is it just your hormones talking again? 

5. Selosa kami: Kaya iwasan niyong makipag harutan sa ibang girls. Lalo na sa harapan namin. Pero may ibang babae na tahimik lang kung mag-selos. Inoobserabahan lang kayo. Pero kapag napuno, simula na ng away.

-Geez. Listen to Marques Houston's "That Girl". You'll get our point.

6. Kaming mga babae, normal lang ang ma-attract sa mga gwapo: Hanggang tingin lang kami. Kasi hindi naman na namin makikita ulit. Ma-attract man kami sa 1M lalaki, ang puso namin ay para lang sa tunay naming mahal. Ganun din naman kayong mga lalaki. Kapag nakakita ng maganda at sexy. Magaling lang kayong magtago.

-Okay..so why the fuck did you even mention number 5? Fuckin` Moron. Magaling magtago? Kung magaling eh di sana hindi nyo nalaman right? Who's the bitch who wrote this again?


7. Kaming mga babae, pinagmamalaki namin yung mga mahal namin ng hindi nila nalalaman: Katulad nalang sa mga GM (Group Message), Facebook at TUMBLR.

-Who cares. Panay kayo yabang. My Bf is like this, he owns this, he bought me this, etc. SCREW THAT! Kill the insecurities ..now. 


8. Ayaw namin sa mga manliligaw na nagmamadali: Yung tipo ng mga lalaking laging nagtatanong kung kailan ba namin sila sasagutin. Naiirita kami. Kaya dapat maging matiyaga kayo kasi dun namin nalalaman kung sino talaga kayo.

-With a girl like you? I bet you won't be having suitors like that. Say, I'm like Manny Pangilinan rich, would you even hesitate? Stop lying.


9. Kapag malungkot o tahimik kami, gusto namin ng yakap galing sa inyo: Kasi iba yung pakiramdam kapag hawak niyo na kami. Gumagaan yung pakiramdam namin. :">

-Yeah right. How about new clothes? Shoes? or bags? 

10. Gustong gusto namin yung mga lalaking malaki ang respeto samin: Yung tipong pag ayaw namin magpa-kiss, hindi niyo gagawin. Instead, lalambingin ka na lang sa ibang paraan. Ang pinaka gusto naming kiss, kiss on the forehead. It symbolizes, respect.

-french kissing your forehead will never be respectful.


11. Ang nagpapa-turn on samin ay yung lalaking protective: Yung kapag kasama namin kayo, feeling namin safe na safe kami. Walang mangyayaring masama at hindi kami ilalagay sa panganib.

-Fuck. Who do you think I am? Kevin Costner?

12. Ayaw namin sa lalaking hanggang text lang: Kung mahal niyo talaga kami, patunayan niyo sa personal. Wag yung sa text lang kayo magaling. Magpaka-lalaki kayo!

-I feel sad for those with Long distance relationships. Let me translate this piece of crap - "Punuin ang balikbayan box and get be that freakin new Iphone 4s!"

13. Sobra kaming natutuwa sa mga lalaking ma-effort: Yung kahit walang special day, feel mo eh special ang araw araw niyo. Kasi sobrang nakakatuwa kapag ang lalaki laging nagpuput in ng effort. Feeling naming babae eh, isa kaming prinsesa.

-How about YOUR fuckin effort? Ganito ba kayo ka insecure? Damn.  Effort my ass. Listening to you nag is enough effort. I mean, c'mon. It is what it is.



14. Ang pangarap naming mga babae yung ipapakilala kami ng mga lalaki sa kanilang mga barkada at lalo na sakanilang pamilya: Feeling namin kami na yung pinaka maswerteng babae sa mundo. Kasi iilan lang ang lalaking naglalakas loob ipakilala kami sa parents at barkada nila. Yung iba kasi nahihiya. At feeling din nmin angkin na angkin na namin ang isang lalaki dahil nakilala na namin ang mga taong bumubuo sa buhay niya. :)


-Uhuh. I have to agree. Tell your guy na pakilala ka rin nya sa asawa nya and sa anak nya. LOL!

15. Magaling kaming mag-pretend: Kapag nasasaktan kami, nagpapaka-manhind kami. Kapag may nakitang di maganda, nagbubulagbulagan kami. Kapag may narinig na mali, nagbibingibingihan kami. Pero kapag mag-isa nalang kami, dun kami naglalabas ng sakit. Dun kami umiiyak. Kaya ang pangarap naming lalaki is yung sensitive enough sa mga nararamdaman namin. Yung kayang magtanong hanggang sa umamin kami.

-Pretentious bitch! You make the world complicated. If we do something wrong, be considerate and tell us about it. So less damage is done. Don't let us screw the night for you or the moment for you. Stop men from doing more damage. Then you blame us in the end when its YOUR fault you didn't stop us. Like what you hear everyday: "prevention is better than cure"

Fuck this piece. Really fuckin ruined my day. I guess I'll start eating ice cream while crying while watching glee or my favorite telenovela or even "the notebook" while I wait until I get my fuckin period. And to top it all of, I'd NEVER realize and accept that just probably, I create my own issues and problems. Oh..I forgot, only girls do this.

Monday, February 22, 2010

I HATE YOUR "LIST"


Simply stupid and selfish. I assume that this was made by girls who wanted their men to be their slaves. 
SORRY, It won't work for me! 

And guys, beware! Don't fall to this trap that you need to be the man they say you should be. 

BE YOURSELF!


Let's break down the list...

You're a lucky girl when you man:

1. FOLLOWS YOU WHEN YOU WALK OUT - What the? When you walk out, don't expect real men to follow you! Do a Talk n Text walk out and you'd get what you deserve. No, you don't get a fine of 1 million bucks, you just get to realize what a bad move it was since no sane guy will follow you.


2. CALLS YOU BACK WHEN YOU HANG UP - The question here is WHY? Why will men call you up when you hung up on them? So you can do it again? We ain't stupid.

3. HUGS YOU TIGHT WHEN YOU PUNCH HIM - Ain't this stupid? The only thing that will hug you when you punch me is a lawsuit! Or I'd let my sister who is a black belter in Shin to pain kungfu punch you in the face.


4. KISSES YOU WHEN YOU NAG - Nope.. Men, do not kiss your girlfriends when they nag. They may like it and nag even more!

5. WATCHES CHICK FLICKS WITH YOU , TOLERATES YOUR CRYING OVER LOVE STORIES- Okay..watch Basketball, Wrestling, Action films with Chuck Norris with us first, THEN we will watch you stupid chick flicks...Wait, since they are called chick flicks, they're only for chicks!


6. HANDS YOU THE REMOTE - For what?? The remote is no vibrator!


7. PASSES ON BOOZE NIGHT JUST TO LISTEN TO YOUR RANTING - Ladies, do not be fooled, we would only pass booze night only..and only if we do not have money.


8. KNOWS HOW TO SAY "I`M SORRY" AND ALWAYS TELLS YOU "I LOVE YOU". - I know how to do that... "I'M SORRY for reading this crap of a list..and I think I'd go back to my trusted BOOZE and say "I LOVE YOU to her". --Happy now????

"NOW WE CAN SAY, MEN ARE SELDOM MADE...SORT OF LIMITED EDITION" -  Yes..Men who would follow this pile of shit are seldom made alright! I tell you, this list is a disaster. It's sexist and it offends men! hehehe...


 "Feminism is the product of female selfishness, compounded by male chivalry."

jobertoholics around the world